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one more RL post. - what hurts the soul, my soul adores
no better than a beast upon all fours.

Date: 2010-01-25 00:55
Subject: one more RL post.
Security: Public
Didn't add it to the last post b/c I want to keep written things separate.

some days, in the face of
this burden we bear together I think
--I feel this urgency to tell you, but
how do I say it? or maybe
I can't gather the right words to describe
how I smile when you sing off-key,
but I think that when I'm with you--
when you look into my eyes and I feel
like I'm falling in love for the first time
I think you are telling me--
tears roll down my face, and I
am still terrified at the thought of losing us
but you remind me that I am not alone in this fear
and that you,
in my embrace
are giving me your heart;
I hope you know that mine
has always been...


Sometimes I have moments with him--innocuous moments that come and go, but that resonate with me so deeply I become scared all over again because I'm so invested in the thought of us being together for the rest of our lives. But I need to remember that he stands to lose much more than I do in some ways... and that he wouldn't be here if he weren't serious about our relationship as well. I really love him... I pray things will work out in the end, and that I have the grace to overcome the obstacles in our way without resentment. Sigh.
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moving on
fanfic journal
May 2013