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non-fanfiction? GASP! - what hurts the soul, my soul adores
no better than a beast upon all fours.

Date: 2010-01-25 00:24
Subject: non-fanfiction? GASP!
Security: Public
Written for one of my closest friends, who is currently trying to cope with a stupid situation involving a boy, alcohol, a magical, bittersweet morning... and a toothbrush. Love you, hon... you deserve better than all the stupid shit that keeps getting thrown onto your path. :P


Every time she walks by or walks into the bathroom, she is confronted by a persistent reminder of a stolen night, an object that brings back a bevy of emotions that threaten to overwhelm her, a... toothbrush. Idiotic, really, that a common household item should convey and at the same time evoke so much emotion in someone as rational as herself. But we are all prone to weaknesses, she admits with a crooked smile in the mirror. We know better than to wallow in our own misery, but sometimes it seems that we exist solely to put the misery into words, song, and long conversations that watch the moon rise and fall. And though we are usually not the better for it, still, we persist.

She cannot throw it out just as she cannot step back from the memories of that night and say that it meant nothing to her; she knows that ridding herself of it is like admitting that nothing will come of the raw emotions she felt and still feels for him. It hurts--like a bitch, really--to move through her days, pretending like nothing has changed when she knows with her heart things are not the same. But she would rather these mixed emotions than trying to detach herself from him...

"I'm no good for you." There is a very likely chance he is right, and she knows it, but...

She looks in the mirror and wraps her arms around herself, remembering his fingers tracing the curve of her cheek and his mouth nuzzled into the crook of her neck and along her collarbone. The short-lived bliss and her silly optimism, killed in the harsh light of that sad morning...

His toothbrush is equal parts wound and salve.

She turns off the light in the bathroom shortly afterward, angry at herself for being so irrational and moody, and she swears that she'll stop being such a girl about a stupid inanimate object... tomorrow.


Bittersweet is right up my alley, I believe...
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May 2013