Date: 2009-07-08 09:23 Subject: hum dee dum. Security: Public

Thought of an interesting fic plot while walking back from classes today--for some reason no one was on the road and no one was walking near me, so it kind of felt like I was the only person around for miles... I came up with a very interesting idea but in order for me to feel comfortable writing it I need an ENDING, and a way to explain the phenomenon. Still working on that, but I just thought I'd write a lil' bit of it to motivate myself.

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"Ugh," she said disgustedly. "I thought today was my day off from everything that annoyed me." This dream just became a nightmare! So much for solitude...

He almost looked hurt, but his expression quickly changed to anger. "Serena, don't you get what's going on here? Or are you too dense to recognize that there is no one around?"

"No, I am not too dense, you jerk," she bit back, irritated that her subconscious decided that Darien was an essential part of her dreams. "This is my dream, obviously, and even though you are in it for some awful reason, I'm going to pretend I didn't see you and continue enjoying my dream-day." He groaned, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"This isn't a dream, Serena. I woke up this morning to go to classes, and when I walked outside no one was around. All of the cars in the street were empty. The university was absolutely dead with silence." His eyes met with hers, and she could see a tinge of fear in them. "Ever since then I've been wandering around to see if anyone else was around, if there might be some clue as to what had happened... and here you are."

She laughed nervously. "Okay, Dream Darien, you're starting to freak me out... but since this is a dream, I'll just close my eyes and when I open them again you'll be gone, and I can keep enjoying my day without anyone around to bother me, or criticize me, or say mean things to me..." Serena sighed. "So just go away, please, you can make fun of me all you want tomorrow when I'm awake again."

A pang of guilt shot through him at her words, but he brushed it aside for now. It was imperative that the only other person he'd seen around--alive--today was aware of what was happening, or he'd go insane.

"Serena..." He went to grab her shoulder, but she snatched herself away.

"Don't touch me!" she screeched, and her voice echoed in the empty street. "Will I never get a break from you? I might as well wake up, you've ruined everything!"

"Serena, LISTEN TO ME!"

Before she could dash away from him, he clamped his hands around her arms in a vice-like grip. Her eyes widened at the sudden contact, and a flood of realization started to set in as she whimpered.

"Why does this... feel so real..." Her stomach dropped, and she looked up fearfully at him. "Darien, does this mean--"

"I'm sorry, Serena," he said curtly, "but you're not dreaming, and as far as I know right now, you and I are the only people alive in Tokyo."

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Hmm, so interesting! Need to figure out how they get out of it before I start writing it and posting it though ^.^

Date: 2009-07-06 20:11 Subject: inspired by fanfic AGAIN Security: Public

Man, I thought this story was starting to wander a bit, but Chapter 17 hit me in the gut and made me tear up like a baby... T_T

Anyhoo, just thought I'd write a snippet since I can... and since I can't seem to focus on the lab I have due tomorrow. This is the closest to a deadline I've come to when it comes to labs... bad Kris... ._.;;

* * * * *

'What would you say if I liked Alicia?' For the millionth time today, much to Welkin's discomfort, Faldio's voice refuses to disappear from his thoughts.

He remembers the words 'That's great!' on his lips, but being unable to put any voice behind it... he remembers the peculiar feeling of his stomach dropping to his feet and the silence of that moment between them.

Just shock--yes, it was shock. He has known Faldio for years, and has never seen his expression so serious when talking about a girl... so that makes sense, he tells himself. This reaction is shock at his abnormal behavior, and not because of--that.

His face flushes at the thought of that, of the cabin and the blanket and the brush of her fingers on his knuckles as she--

No. He stops himself, and stares ahead at the expanse of rock and dust before him.

The mission. How can he consider himself a good squad leader if all he can think about are silly confessions? As if he were lovesick... he sighs, glad for the solitude that scouting allows him.

'What would you say if I liked Alicia?' Those words again. He might as well be honest with himself here, alone...

'I'd say... I don't know.'

He knows too well what the ambiguity of his statement means, but his inward response keeps the thoughts away for a little while longer.

Date: 2009-06-19 08:16 Subject: on a roll. Security: Public

More writing--weeeeeeeirdddd...

( untitled Chiaki thoughts on Nodame, current chapters )

Date: 2009-06-18 20:01 Subject: AWESOME people write fanfic instead of going out for drinks. Security: Public Tags: mamoru, sailormoon

I like to think that, had we been 'regular' people, we could have fallen in love in a very idyllic way. I often think about what would have happened--a slow realization of emotion behind the insults and the sarcasm, then an eventual, mutual understanding of the electricity that we have always shared. Shy confessions, an awkward first date... becoming 'official,' holding hands, that crucial first kiss where neither of us know quite what the other wants, and only know that we want what is about to happen... saying 'I love you' for the first time, and feeling so delicate, so scared. What is it like to be so unsure, I wonder? So vulnerable?

Love has always been you. My life, my memories, my being are shaped by your existence, and yours by mine. How long, between our previous incarnation and the day we met, have our separate selves been waiting for these moments? As we passed each other on the street, did these stored-away memories languish in doubt that we would ever be together again? Subconsciously, your image always lingered a little longer than everyone else, as if demanding to be recognized.

Then--a catalyst. A reason to remember again, and our past selves breathe a sigh of relief at the fact that 'you and I' will not have to endure the time-consuming process that is falling in love without a safety net. More dramatic battles, a heart-wrenching climax, and the downfall of the most evil entity to grace this planet (twice). You give up your rightful crown to stay here, to 'stay normal.' To stay with me, so we can finally be together after years and millenia of wait.

But who exactly was waiting? Well, obviously I know, but... sometimes I think our love story was just a little rushed.

How quirky our romance is, to know you so deeply I love every facet of your unsure expression... yet not understand why you are obsessed with cake. Do you see what I mean now? I won't ever stop loving you, and I would never change who we are--both past and present. But having the chance to find you again, to slowly learn about you one tantalizing detail at a time...

I envy Endymion. Is that strange? To want a story of our own, and not just a continuation of our counterparts? I am looking forward to falling in love with you again--or more than I am already, so to speak.

But falling in love with you for the first time--I, Mamoru, and not Endymion--is something I'll always want but never have.

===========

I've read too many SM fanfics today =_=;; I always thought that remembering "OMG we were together in a past life and now I KNOW know you and we're in love OMG" would be a little jarring on one's sensibilities... I also like to think that Mamoru is enough of a romantic to where he'd feel a little cheated that he didn't get the chance to fall in love with her and start their relationship before things got crazy. (I KNOW there's always been an underlying attraction in the first few manga/first season, but there's a lot more to an eventual relationship than blushing and stomach butterflies :P) Also inspired by talking to a friend about the craziness, the terrifying(-ness?) aspects of falling for someone, but how amazing it is when everything connects. I wouldn't want to miss out on the crazy ride that was the beginning of my relationship for anything... even for a reincarnated prince ;)

** Also realized that my ficlet separates Endymion from Mamoru a bit; I mean, they're still different lives... same soul, yes, but different experiences and therefore different perspectives. (Or... I cry creative license?) That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! :D

Date: 2009-05-28 23:59 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

tell me, she said
what we're doing in bed
when there are worlds to be
exploring instead.

why are we lying here?
what is the reason?
we've left sloth behind to this passing season

i don't understand why the weather is clear
and instead of enjoying it
instead, we are
here.

he smiled at her
knowing her patience was through
and said
i'd rather be enjoying you.

Hm, pretty Dr. Seuss-y. :P Just felt like writing bad poetry... although the first four lines remind me of John Donne's poem... the name escapes me right now. How helpful is that? =_=;

I love how I haven't published anything on here in forever except for this shitty poem... poem is kind of catchy though. Too bad I'm horrid at putting any of my words to music...

Date: 2009-01-24 22:28 Subject: i miss you Security: Public

the stars are alive tonight and i wish
you and i were watching the stars, tonight
and you'd smile at my sentiments--
know they were my heart, not words.
i miss you.

i know i'm not always right but i think
this is more than speculation--i might
be a fool

=====

grawr, I come back to this months later and I still can't produce more than a half-verse in 30 minutes...

Date: 2009-01-23 23:44 Subject: grawr Security: Public Feeling: unsatisfactory

I need to write something... I ache to write something... lyrics, story, something. But it feels like my imagination and creativity are shrinking in the face of everyday concerns, like mortgages (ick) and recession (argh). =_=;

You know what really bothers me? People that think that the Twilight book series is a work of art. I've read better stories on ffnet than that drivel. I've never read such a blatant attempt at a Mary Sue story... but I digress.

Knowing that inferior storytelling like that can get published makes me frustrated; I want to write something to assure myself I have more interesting plots in mind [and better writing style to boot]. But I for some reason can never stick to a story, much less create a completely original storyline... T_T It's so frustrating!!

Everytime I try brainstorming I hit a mental block... I thought that perhaps applying pressure and signing up for NaNoWriMo would make me feel like I had a deadline to complete but I'm too methodical about my writing to ever finish a story I was satisfied with in a month (even though I know that isn't the point in the first place).

So where do I go from here?

Where and how, indeed...

Date: 2008-11-23 15:06 Subject: writing exercise. Security: Public

The dull hum of the heater and the constant ticking of her wall clock create background noises that are familiar and comforting to her. Warmth radiates from the windows and casts light onto the adjacent walls.

(Will maybe get back to this... or not. Was trying to capture the essence of "being where I am right now" but my writing is so rusty that I'm having issues. =_=)

Date: 2008-10-12 00:03 Subject: hn. Security: Public

Every time she finds herself in her old bedroom, the past stares at her in every direction. The dreams, aspirations, future achievements that her former self had set unrealistically crawl upon her, and she feels sorrow--or perhaps guilt--at the current lack of direction in her life.

What is a career?

What is a life fulfilled? She has always maintained that she 'works to live,' but now the words are starting to ring hollow.

This room, she maintains, is the reason for her malcontent. But the real fault lies within herself, and she knows the room only serves as the constant reminder.

Date: 2008-06-17 23:42 Subject: must...clear...brain Security: Public

I can't concentrate fully at work or with friends until I GET THIS STUPID DRABBLE OUT RAWR

Title: The Mini-Break
Anime/Manga: Nodame Cantabile
Pair: Chiaki Shinichi x Noda Megumi
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes the person you love the most... is too insane to handle in large quantities. It's a good thing you're a masochist, then.

( into the Forest of Weirdos )


Hehe, poor Chiaki-sempai. ^_^; This is my first NC fanfic, so I hope Chiaki and Nodame are the same characters you love... I meant to make this a one-shot focusing on his gradual realizations in the course of planning the trip about how he really cares for her, but seeing it out to the end might be even more fun! ^_^

I'm looking to make this a three-part story, so wish me luck and I hope that the plotbunnies do not desert me in the midst of cranking the rest of this out... o_o